Thinking about the energetic properties of our creative tools brings me to question the purpose of creating media. Many state it as an expression to self, and that everything stops there. That you are merely stating how you feel with your joy, and wish to let go of everything on your mind. What if it influences the mind in a way that further pauses your ability to move forward? I ask because I'm unable to write anything when a smile is on my face. I'm unable to come up with purpose towards words, unable to create sentences that sound about myself, and unable to express anything (for I feel no need to). Odd because I'm smiling right now, I'm not happy, but I'm content.

What if an expression of self is only enabled when ones own depression takes over? I am at my best with my writing whenever I feel pain. My creativity and dreams explode into vividness as if detailing what I desire in life. My sub-conscious is suddenly able to open a pathway between my heart and my brain that allows it to communicate as if it was another person all together (which, would be true have my goals been completed). I can't write at all about bunnies, tree's, their abilities to represent joy, without thinking about all the horrible things that result because of it. Bunnies look cute, but the process of cutting one open so that I may stick it on a barbecue grill is as disgusting as allowing my toilet to fill up without a flush. Tree's enable us to breath, are a part of the life-cycle and do countless other things to creatures allowing them to live. But they are also the reason that shit like insects exist, and are completely uncivilized. They do nothing but invite other-creatures that I simply do not wish to be around, I only ever want to cut them up, roll em up, and sell them to create profit.

So at the end of the day, after writing in my journal or on this site, I've released my thoughts and emotions into words. After singing my favorite songs, I have related to said artist and have further shortened the gap between understanding beyond self / others. But what is the purpose? I'm unable to answer that question, but looking into it, I now see the result.

If you are to do nothing but dwell on your thoughts, and feel a sense of release after doing anything creative; Then be aware that release itself may simply be dormant and inactive (but present). After writing my depressed emotions, thinking back on the day, I afterwords feel "content" enough to forget about it for those moments to come. But I am not over it, I'm not past it, and not done with it. It's like ignoring the little voice in your head telling you that you want a piece of meat, eventually it'll be served and satisfied. The voice in your head is influenced by how you express yourself, so if you happen to express depression, it'll desire it. The opposite being true as well. That is the conclusion that I have received through my current thoughts. I shall attempt to experiment with it (for inspiration is simply what you state inside your mind), soon enough.