My emo topic

[Fatal Rose]

For the longest time I've been alone, I could just not land a serious relationship. Sometimes I would try, but to be honest not hard enough. Sometimes it's hard to find a girl who'll take me serious, many times they only want me for sex. Which is great I guess but dang it I want some romance too. I hated the fact that friends of mine/people I know would always land a great relationship but never me. What was I doing wrong? Am I too relaxed?

 

I just never understood it. Please forgive me if I sound arrogant but guys that I know I am better looking then, more romantic then, better with words, dress better, have a greater understanding of how to please a girl sexually, etc.. ALWAYS had more success then me. WHY?!?!!?

 

I also have a problem, I like sex too much. I can seriously have sex ALL DAY!! Sometimes I would have sex with two or three different girls in the same day. What the hell is my problem? This is not something to be proud of, honestly I am ashamed.

 

Women have told me I am a joke of a person, only good for fun, and not a real man. At times I believed it. A few times I gave my all and tried to do all the right things but in the end, I failed. It's strange I can give my friends great advice that works 100 percent of the time, but I struggle so much. I am not even sure where I am going with this to be honest. So many things to talk about.

 

Now I finally have a gf. To be honest I am scared. I have never cared for a girl this much before. It's crazy! I am not even sure if she is beautiful. She is VERY beautiful/sexy to me, but I think it's only in my eyes. hahahah Not that I mind, I finally have a girl my heart is telling me that she is a beauty. Not my flesh. I make no sense I bet. Sorry about this but I am BORED and I can't get her off of my mind. I think I am falling in love.. I am SCARED of this feeling. I like it but it's scary. I have NEVER loved a girl before. At times I want to back out of this, I am really THAT scared. At times I want to revert back to old Ryan and cheat on her just to get my mind off of her, so I can have a back up plan if we don't work. I am a coward.

 

I am saying things to her that I actually mean! I am doing things I never do.

 

Ok I will stop.

[Lucandrake]

Why are you scared? You say your desire is a true relationship then 2 paragraphs down you claim that you're scared for it. Why is that? Figure that out and I think it'll be much easier for you to put up with your urges to break this.

[emsley]

Ryan you are what we call a "stud" or "alpha" male.

Listen to me very carefully.

 

Guys who have the Alpha status in nature are meant to be promiscuous.

This means that a guy who has this "talent" about him is here to do one thing - mate with many, many women.

Women call feel MAGNETICALLY drawn to these types of guys even though they know he is probably sleeping with more than one woman.

 

Im willing to bet that after you sleep with the women they tend to turn mean on you or say "nasty" things to you.

This is her rationalisation at work. What she FEELS for a man is different to what she THINKS for a man.

 

Remember when I first spoke to you on skype and i couldn't believe how deep your voice was?

I immediately knew you were this type of male.

A deep voice that has no urgency about it attracts women on a subconscious level and there is nothing they can do about it.

NOTHING.

 

Been alpha sadly does have it down falls.

While you display attractive quality's that they find seductive and you find it easy to have sex with numerous women, the woman's subconscious is hard at work.

Although she may receive your superior sperms she can NOT count on you been a PROVIDER.

It does not matter that you have a job, can be loyal etc, some part of her brain has registered you as a sexual partner only.

Women in the old days used to sneak out and receive superior sperms from the alpha and take her implanted egg back to her provider.

This is pure genetic work at play.

 

Also once a woman has "nested you" she may find you less attractive its not her fault (though i wish it was so i could smack them up side of the head) if she nests you, she resents you, because you should be out there sharing your seed.

This "unseen dance" is the balance i have nearly perfected for my self, although i have slept with many women i find like you i have no success in a long term relationships.

 

Why do you think women are always worried about you cheating or get jealous easily?

call you a player?? be cold to AFTER sex...

 

They are merely receiving better sperms and seeking out a better PREDICTABLE AVERAGE GUY to provide for their GENETICS which are now been cooked in the oven.

If you really give the words i have written here some good thought you will see everything we say is irrelevant.

[solidius23]

wow ems got deep with that shit, ryan your mind

is just not used to the feelings u r experiencing for a female, face it dude u r in love with this chick, only bad part about this if things go wrong u r gonna take it xtra hard. just take things at a good pace and it should all work out

[emsley]

yes, it does go this deep, wherever you believe it or not it can be categorized.

Dont look in Pandoras box is my advice.

This shit is a head wrecker.

[Krosigrim]

Oh Ryan...

 

First of all do not mistake infatuation for love. Im not saying you dont love her. Im saying relax and go with the flow. Time is a major factor. Its one of the equations that helps erode or fortify any given thing. Bonds, feelings, ha- even money.

 

You say you dont even know if she is beautiful. But she is to you. That is a typical "thinking too much" thing to say. You are running in circles and working yourself up.

 

I too am a sexaholic. This got in the way alot honestly. I wanst a mac, but during relationships, I wanted it too often. That mixed with other things created a void where other things should have been built.

 

Bottom line, you care for her. She is not asking for more than you are giving. You just need to fucking relax and have fun. Go out, do activities, talk, communicate, but do not rush. Dont be stagnant either. Dont second guess everything you do, wondering where its coming from. Does she make you feel good about yourself? Instill you with esteem? Do you treat her well? Thats all that matters. If you make each other feel good about yourselves your golden.

 

Dont rush to next steps cause you want more more more. Learn to be gradified with what you have. I know what it is like... calling forth sexy time when it isnt ... time. Although I cant shake the feeling of your awkwardness. I just have a sense of you being "too much" Like when you stated you were showing effection to some girl at a bar at your last location and she was eating it up/ Everyone is different... but you do seem to rush things. Just feels unnatural.

 

Best thing you can do is relax and enjoy your time together. ENJOY YOUR TIME TOGETHER!!! Do you hear me? Stop worrying about what is and whats next and what may go wrong and what she might think and blablabla. Chill out, take a breath, and let the flow take over. And by flow... I mean let things happen naturally. Often have I realized I forced a situation.

 

You say you think you love her and your scared. You shouldnt. Shut the fuck up and sit down. Listen to me. Do not be scared, as you are not required to make another bold move. You need to build a foundation of friendship before you can hope to maintain a loving relationship. Learn about each other. You both must know the other. So you fell you may love her, or could love her, whatever. This is fine. Dont be afraid of what you will do wrong. Once she knows who you are, its gonna be up to her, and vice versa, on what comes next. You two may not make it. Its a fact of life. Worrying about what you may do wrong will only frustrate you. If she makes you feel great, and you see that you make her feel good about herself... again... your golden.

 

Just... relax on the sex thing. How many times I wish I had just kept it in my pants. How many relationships suffered because I was so driven by sex. Once you have a solid relationship, where you can go out and have fun without making her scream out... wait... im not helping. lol

 

Have fun. Dont be overly romantic either. Then it just becomes mute. I cannot eat Pizza every meal every day. You gotta be able to relax. Lower your barriers. If you always have to "act" as in always "trying" whatever it is... your not being natural and that is unfair to her. I can totally see a girl with her legs in my lap while we both hold DS's and listening to music. I dont need to massage her feet or play with her hair or whatever... all the time.

 

Just make sure you both have time to relax and be yourselves around each other. Time will do the rest.

[veristic]

Like Kros said, infatuation and love are two different things. But if you find a girl beautiful through your feelings and objectively, even if others may not and it doesn't matter to you, i'd say you're on the right path. Why are you scared? Other then the obvious fact that you're in a different country with a foreign girl who's future with together seems all but certain lol. I don't know how you envision where it's going with her, to a fork in the road or a linear path but either way, it doesn't mean whatever does happen there can't be a meaningful experience.

 

Personally, I know I love my gf because despite the hardship i'll face with my own family dating a girl outside of the race, it doesn't matter to me and losing her outweighs the hardship. And I need that to love someone, a girl who makes me feel like the rest doesn't matter, I won't give her up. It's like an important choice you have to make for yourself that defines who you are. Maybe in this case its the fact that your "life" is thousands of miles away and there's this girl who might compel you take a road you've never considered. I dunno, but you get what I mean. It might be too soon to go there but something to think about.

 

Meanwhile, yes, try to enjoy your time with her, however long that may be. Don't use sex to define your relationship. I'm assuming you already slept with her right?

 

Define it with who you really are, don't be impersonal, showing that side of you who can sleep with a broad, be totally empty or apathetic and smile. Be vulnerable, be happy, be pure. Don't lie to yourself or her.

 

K that's all I got.

[emsley]

drink stella, and tell her what for.

I love you mate.

[Fatal Rose]

Thanks so much for all the great advice my friends. We have been together for about three weeks and we've not had sex. A new record for me!

 

Paul, Will, Ver; thanks for clearing things up got me and slapping some sense into me. To be honest I don't "try", I just am who I am. I am trying to be a better man/Christian so I don't mind waiting on sex, I think that would be a good thing for me.

 

This is uncharted territory for me...

[Sybarite Paladin AxL]

Are you a Scorpio by any chance?

 

And if you aren't, you're most definitely a Virgo.

[Fatal Rose]

Haha

 

I am a Cancer, and no I don't take that stuff seriously.