Here's what he should do... Pslug: "Oh hi mom, you are looking ravishing today." Mom: "Ooooohhh, thank you son. What is that your wearing?" Pslug: "It's for the girls mom, GameCop told me to get a girlfriend." Mom: "Yeah, I know that GameCop. Sounds familiar." Pslug: "So mom, I love the bike..but it hurts my tushy." Mom: "Want me to kiss it for you?" Pslug: "No, it's ok. I was wondering though.." Mom: "It's ok, GameCop was a very good looking person. Nothing happened." Pslug: "I'm talking about something else mom.." Mom: "That GameCop can just last for hours and hours." Pslug: "I mean the Bike, the Bike." Mom: "The bike ride with GameCop was fabulous" Pslug: "Nevermind, forget I said anything." And so the journey moves on with PlasticSlug and his lifestyle. His tush will forever hurt in the mist of darkness falling.