For the longest time I've been alone, I could just not land a serious relationship. Sometimes I would try, but to be honest not hard enough. Sometimes it's hard to find a girl who'll take me serious, many times they only want me for sex. Which is great I guess but dang it I want some romance too. I hated the fact that friends of mine/people I know would always land a great relationship but never me. What was I doing wrong? Am I too relaxed? I just never understood it. Please forgive me if I sound arrogant but guys that I know I am better looking then, more romantic then, better with words, dress better, have a greater understanding of how to please a girl sexually, etc.. ALWAYS had more success then me. WHY?!?!!? I also have a problem, I like sex too much. I can seriously have sex ALL DAY!! Sometimes I would have sex with two or three different girls in the same day. What the hell is my problem? This is not something to be proud of, honestly I am ashamed. Women have told me I am a joke of a person, only good for fun, and not a real man. At times I believed it. A few times I gave my all and tried to do all the right things but in the end, I failed. It's strange I can give my friends great advice that works 100 percent of the time, but I struggle so much. I am not even sure where I am going with this to be honest. So many things to talk about. Now I finally have a gf. To be honest I am scared. I have never cared for a girl this much before. It's crazy! I am not even sure if she is beautiful. She is VERY beautiful/sexy to me, but I think it's only in my eyes. hahahah Not that I mind, I finally have a girl my heart is telling me that she is a beauty. Not my flesh. I make no sense I bet. Sorry about this but I am BORED and I can't get her off of my mind. I think I am falling in love.. I am SCARED of this feeling. I like it but it's scary. I have NEVER loved a girl before. At times I want to back out of this, I am really THAT scared. At times I want to revert back to old Ryan and cheat on her just to get my mind off of her, so I can have a back up plan if we don't work. I am a coward. I am saying things to her that I actually mean! I am doing things I never do. Ok I will stop.