Hera

really? He still would have been awesome haha.

Oh don't worry. I won't.

I know you've felt bad about the way you did some people over. Everyone has unintentionally hurt others for their personal gains. Never once did we think you were going to do that to us. We didn't really care either way to be honest because we knew whatever we were doing was for the good. We didn't expect to change who you were..just to help you in a better direction. We love you very much as a friend and some of our conversations I will always hold to heart. You're like me in a sense though, we give excellent advice, open up wide perspectives for others but fail to do it for ourselves. But as I said before, life is full of opportunities for progress. Everyday, God gives us the chance to redeem ourselves and use our full potential as human beings. I'm still learning how to forgive myself when I do something idiotic. I don't really hurt people it's just I'll set myself up for things I know I shouldn't be involved in and in turn it always bites me in the arse. I always dwell on things done in the past..like I should have said this or done that. I keep reminding myself that there is always room for correction. Forgiving others...I usually don't have a problem with that. Except for the people who were most involved in my life. I still find it hard to forgive my father for his transgressions. I forgive his actions from the past but not from the present. It seems as though every time I show forgiveness, he finds a way to wheedle himself back in and push my buttons. The people who know how to twist my emotions around and make me always feel at fault are the ones I'm having trouble forgiving. Even my own mother. So, I've been dealing with those issues and praying about it. Hopefully I can get the courage eventually to just sit down with them all and tell them how much I'm hurt and to look them in the eyes and tell them that I forgive them. I really don't see that happening anytime soon. Nobody in my family admits they're wrong about anything. If they do, they still manage to put the blame on someone else..mainly me. eh..I could go on and on but it's really of no significance. I just need to get a backbone and fix the problems instead of ignoring it.

Ok now that I am calm I can do this again. I just typed a crapload of text and the window just disappeared. So here is my 2nd attempt and I'll try to make it a bit shorter. I suffer from manic depression and anxiety. As most of you already know, I grew up in a dysfunctional drug home. I grew up on junk food because nobody wanted to cook. I used those truths as excuses as to why I made bad choices for my health and education. I ended up getting kicked out of school, became a "gutter punk" doing drugs, drinking all the time and partying. I had this tough facade and to a point I still kinda do...but inside I care too much. I help anyone and everyone I can and never expect anything in return. I hate seeing people hurt even though I know people could care less what I'm feeling on the inside. I have this problem..it's a bad problem. Everytime I go out, I'm always thinking someone is staring at me and when I glance at them, I assume I can read their thoughts and I get myself all depressed and angry. Sometimes they do stare at me (mainly old people because I am fat) and I try to ignore it. As much as I profess to loath the world, I am completely vulnerable to it. Life is full of oppornities for progress. I met a wonderful man who despite his attempts to make me feel beautiful, I know it's up to me. He has shown me protection, acceptance and stability that I never had in my whole entire life. We are completely different but I wouldn't have it any other way. We started a family of our own and I'm shown what I've been missing in life. I have become more ambitious..I don't give up as easily as I used to. I'm gradually getting more self reliant and I'm taking my life and living it my way. Not the way the world wants me to live it. I hardly communicate with the people who contributed anything negative in my life. I drag myself down enough occasionally I don't need help. Soo...I've loved, lost, screwed up, gained and continue living...

Congrats! Just don't be stupid.

That's very true. When I was on meth (ice), I was losing tons of weight, I was always happy and nothing ever bothered me. People couldn't really tell since I did do it in moderation. At home, it was a different story...people living with me would steal it and if I had my bf hold the stuff, they would walk the streets trying to get some. I felt responsible for their addiction. I've seen friends lose teeth, kids and careers because of the stuff. Quitting that stuff was the hardest thing I ever done. The withdrawals were horrible and even to this day I have to stay away from people that do it. I would be too tempted. I don't think that addiction ever goes away. It's just easier to deal with as time passes. I will not do any drug ever again. Don't care if it's pot don't care of it's crank, crack or whatever. I'm done with substance abuse. Just getting highly buzzed off alcohol once or twice a year is good enough for me.

Musician: David Bowie Nobuo Uematsu: Painter: Salvador Dali Mark Ryden:

If I were you, I'd get the NOD32. It's the highest recommended and has excellent reviews.

I've said that too haha. I love getting the "wtf?" face.

HAHAH I say that to my wife sometimes. lol If you get your rib back, beat these kinds of people with it. You'll do a favor to society hahah

Corona and Jim Beam are the only ones that make me sick.

When I first met my husband, he used to drink Kamora (coffee liquor or however the proper description for it is) all the time. It's not bad. I prefer just straight vodka or wine when I drink though.

I like it too. I was laughing at you weirdy for asking if it was considered rape. It was funny to me.

Indeed. I agree completly, and say this exact thing all the time. 'cept... I havent really drank in ages. Last I caught a buzz was with Hera and her husband... silly cork sniffers Ohhhh boy I read those last 3 words wrong Yeah I remember you getting drunk off my red wine.

no flirting then wats the point lol i was gonna ask for an add lol You can add me AND flirt! But that doesn't mean I'll flirt back

It's been so long I'm beginning to forget how nice it is to have a good buzz.

I prefer getting drunk.

btw...Will knows this story. The reason why my ex's nose is crooked is because I broke it a while back when he slapped me. So whenever he looks in the mirror he knows to never hit a girl again bwahaha

Ok. The worst I ever done was meth. It was great...for a while. Then things went crazy and I realized it was bad. So I didn't do it anymore.

I HAYTE when girls put white eyeliner all over the top eyelids. They're meant to accent not flocking be eyeshadow substitute. I'm imagining her bald too. She has more of a manly face. No offense. That's ok. I was with a guy who was nasty..like real nasty. I was 15, he was 21 and we were together on and off for 4 years. Found out recently he was imprisoned for child molestation on his 8 yr old step daughter. I have no idea why or how that man broke my heart..LOOK AT HIM hahaha

What is the worst drug you have ever done? Would you do it again or do you continue? Share your experiences (if you're willing).

For some reason..I keep imagining her with a shaved head.