Man cut his own pen!s, threw it at cops

[Mag]

http://www.suntimes.com/output/news/cst-nws-ouch17.html

 

CHICAGO SUN-TIMES

 

Man severs own pen!s, throws it at officers

 

March 17, 2006

 

BY ERIC HERMAN Staff Reporter

 

Before cops threw the book at him, Jakub Fik threw something unusual at them -- his pen!s.

 

Fik, 33, cut off his own pen!s during a Northwest Side rampage Wednesday morning. When confronted by police, Fik hurled several knives and his severed organ at the officers, police said. Officers stunned him with a Taser and took him into custody.

 

"We took him out without any serious injury, with the exception of his own," said Chicago Police Sgt. Edward Dolan of the 16th District.

 

Doctors at Northwestern Memorial Hospital reattached Fik's pen!s Wednesday, sources said. He was listed in good condition Thursday, according to hospital spokesman Andrew Buchanan, who declined to comment further.

 

Fik, who lives in the 5400 block of W. Berenice, is charged with two counts of aggravated assault and one count of criminal damage to property, said Officer Laura Kubiak. He told paramedics he was distraught over problems with his girlfriend in Poland, Dolan said.

 

Police arrived on Fik's block at 8:20 a.m. Wednesday after receiving reports he was smashing car windows, Dolan said. Fik then broke into a house down the block. A group of six or seven officers assembled in front of the house, Dolan said.

 

The occupants were not home, he added.

 

Fik was bleeding when the officers arrived and may have already cut off his organ, Dolan said.

 

"At that point, this guy came running out, naked, with a handful of knives... and started throwing knives at the police officers that were 10, 20, 30 feet away," Dolan said.

 

Fik threw his pen!s during the confrontation, too, Dolan said. He then went back into the house and re-emerged with "another handful of knives," Dolan said.

 

Dolan sneaked to the side of the bungalow's front steps and stunned Fik with the Taser. Fik fought back when officers went to restrain him, Dolan said.

 

"About 10 feet from the front porch, right on the sidewalk, was his pen!s," Dolan said.

 

Dr. Greg Bales, associate professor of urology at the University of Chicago, said severed pen!ses are uncommon but surgery usually works.

 

"As long as the pen!s is placed on ice and reattached within a few hours, the success is usually pretty good," Bales said.

 

flocking nuts

[Daeval]

American tax dollars better not have gone toward the recovery and reattachment of that dude's schlong.

[Weirdy]

http://www.suntimes.com/output/news/cst-nws-ouch17.html

 

CHICAGO SUN-TIMES

 

Man severs own pen!s, throws it at officers

 

March 17, 2006

 

BY ERIC HERMAN Staff Reporter

 

Before cops threw the book at him, Jakub Fik threw something unusual at them -- his pen!s.

 

Fik, 33, cut off his own pen!s during a Northwest Side rampage Wednesday morning. When confronted by police, Fik hurled several knives and his severed organ at the officers, police said. Officers stunned him with a Taser and took him into custody.

 

"We took him out without any serious injury, with the exception of his own," said Chicago Police Sgt. Edward Dolan of the 16th District.

 

Doctors at Northwestern Memorial Hospital reattached Fik's pen!s Wednesday, sources said. He was listed in good condition Thursday, according to hospital spokesman Andrew Buchanan, who declined to comment further.

 

Fik, who lives in the 5400 block of W. Berenice, is charged with two counts of aggravated assault and one count of criminal damage to property, said Officer Laura Kubiak. He told paramedics he was distraught over problems with his girlfriend in Poland, Dolan said.

 

Police arrived on Fik's block at 8:20 a.m. Wednesday after receiving reports he was smashing car windows, Dolan said. Fik then broke into a house down the block. A group of six or seven officers assembled in front of the house, Dolan said.

 

The occupants were not home, he added.

 

Fik was bleeding when the officers arrived and may have already cut off his organ, Dolan said.

 

"At that point, this guy came running out, naked, with a handful of knives... and started throwing knives at the police officers that were 10, 20, 30 feet away," Dolan said.

 

Fik threw his pen!s during the confrontation, too, Dolan said. He then went back into the house and re-emerged with "another handful of knives," Dolan said.

 

Dolan sneaked to the side of the bungalow's front steps and stunned Fik with the Taser. Fik fought back when officers went to restrain him, Dolan said.

 

"About 10 feet from the front porch, right on the sidewalk, was his pen!s," Dolan said.

 

Dr. Greg Bales, associate professor of urology at the University of Chicago, said severed pen!ses are uncommon but surgery usually works.

 

"As long as the pen!s is placed on ice and reattached within a few hours, the success is usually pretty good," Bales said.

 

flocking nuts

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

roflmao! I can't stop laughing.

 

Ok, the guy goes around smashing car windows. Someone calls the cops; the cops arrive and it's as if he thought "oh yeah.....oh yeah! take that! *throws censor*." I can imagine the cops' faces when that happend.

[Robert]

Fik,..., is charged with...one count of criminal damage to property

 

Damage to property? His own?

[NeuronMaster]

American tax dollars better not have gone toward the recovery and reattachment of that dude's schlong.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

 

American tax dollars go to a plethora of bullshit

 

The gas tax here is a bunch of crap--thanks to the politician for promising that she wouldn't vote for one, that lying biatch.

 

If the guy doesn't want is dong, don't reattach the schlong. It's not the size that matters, it's the quality

 

Plus, that'd make some awesome porno flicks, it'd open up a whole new box of 'kinky'!

[Weirdy]

American tax dollars better not have gone toward the recovery and reattachment of that dude's schlong.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

 

American tax dollars go to a plethora of bullshit

 

The gas tax here is a bunch of crap--thanks to the politician for promising that she wouldn't vote for one, that lying biatch.

 

If the guy doesn't want is dong, don't reattach the schlong. It's not the size that matters, it's the quality

 

Plus, that'd make some awesome porno flicks, it'd open up a whole new box of 'kinky'!

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Maybe he can get a prosthetic one that can detach and attach

[Robert]

Oh yes, that song, "Detachable Pen!s", remember that?

[CJ Jackson]

Damage to property? His own?

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

 

I couldn't put it anybetter myself

 

There too many crazy people in the world.

[Gryph]

Hahaha! What the hell was his thought process when he did that? Jesus people are stupid.

[Diso]

Pretty disgusting. I heard about this in the morning when it happened on a bus ride.. Thought it was pretty disgusting.

[solidius23]

how flocking crazy and desperate do u have to be to do some stupid crap like that.