Quotes that are so bad, they're funny.

[BlackKnight]

Never seen a topic like this here, so why not? Post those nonsensical things you've heard said, whether they're down to shoddy localisations or just plain bad writing altogether. I'll start off, and probably steal some of the best ones

 

 

 

Mortal Kombat Annihilation

 

Kitana - Mother, you're alive!

Sindel - Too bad you... ...shall die!

 

Rayden - It's the new look! What's the deal with your arms?

Jax - Man I known you one minute, and you dissin' me already?

Rayden - (Dead pan) I mean no disrespect.

 

Shao Kahn - Did you make them beg for their lives before you destroyed them????!?!?!

Rain - (Robot voice) But master, I thought....

Shao Kahn - (Suddenly really pissed off) I have no use for excuses!!!!!

 

Scorpion - Succkckkkkeeeerrrssss!!!

 

 

Castlevania: Symphony of the Night

 

Richter - Tribute?? You steal men's souls and make them your slaves!

Dracula - Perhaps the same could be said of all religions. (Emphasis on 'all')

Richter - Your words are as empty as your soul! Mankind ill needs a saviour such as you!

Dracula - What is a man? A miserable little pile of secrets!

 

Lisa - Pity the humans, for theirs is a hard lot.

 

 

Dead or Alive 2

 

Ein - Good vibration!

 

Ayane - I'm not sweet!

 

Bass - Won't have any mercy, even for a woman!

 

 

Silent Hill

 

Harry - Radio. What's going on with that radio.

 

Kaufmann - Hah. You're easy.

 

Dahlia - It was fortold by gyromancy! (Wtf)

 

 

Street Fighter: The Movie

 

Bison - Dee Jay, has the A.N. deposited the twenty billion dollars in my Swiss bank?

Dee Jay - Hell no, General!

 

Guile - I'm only half dead.

Cammy - And Bison?

Guile - All dead.

 

Bison - For you, the day Bison graced your village was the most important day of your life. But for me, it was Tuesday.

 

Officer - Colonel, have you lost your mind?

Guile - No- you've lost your balls.

 

Bison - All I wanted to do was create the perfect genetic soldier. Not for power. Not for evil. But for good! Carlos Blanka will be the first of many- they shall march out of my laboratory and sweep away every adversary, every creed, every nation, until the very planet is in the loving grip of the pax; Bisonica. Where peace shall reign, and all humanity will bow to me in humble gratitude.

 

Guile - What is that, T.Hawk?

T.Hawk - It's cherokee, sign of my tribe. It brings me luck in battle.

Guile - Hope you brought enough for the both of us.

 

Zangief - Quick, change the channel!

 

Guile - Are you man enough to fight with me?

Bison - All who oppose me will be destroyed!

 

 

Final Fantasy VII

 

Cloud - Let's mosey!

 

 

Command & Conquer: Red Alert 2

 

Romanov - We Romanovs have our legacy to consider.

Dugan - I don't give a wooden nickel about your legacy!

 

Romanov - They have turtle in children's film- it teaches them to fear Soviet Union. Little turtle sees big Russian missiles coming. And he ducks. And covers. Duck, cover, hahahahahaha.

 

Carville - You look deader than a Texas armadillo.

 

Romanov - He is war hero, he needs his rest.

 

Romanov - (Totally fake) No, General Vladimir!!

 

 

 

...and of course the classics;

 

Ryu - You must beat Sheng Long to stand a chance. (Most ambiguous line ever)

 

and

 

Shang Tsung - Your soul is mine! (Coolest line ever)

 

 

Anyway that's all I can think of at the moment. What have you guys got?

[Alpha]

The only one I can think of right now is from Shang Tsung saying "IT HAS BEGUN!" before the Mortal Kombat begins. I think I've seen that clip over a hundred times.

[Agozer]

The Mortal Kombat movies has some of the coolest yet, most air-headed and dumb lines and one-liners ever.

[Hawq]

From the Contra 3 intro - "Let's attack aggressively." (theres another way to attack?)

Dragon Ninja - "The President has been kidnapped by ninjas. Are you a bad enough dude to rescue the president?"

also from Dragon Ninja - "I'm bad" (in an embarrasingly trying to sound macho/tough voice which fails to sound either)

[BlackKnight]

From the Contra 3 intro - "Let's attack aggressively." (theres another way to attack?)

Dragon Ninja - "The President has been kidnapped by ninjas. Are you a bad enough dude to rescue the president?"

also from Dragon Ninja - "I'm bad" (in an embarrasingly trying to sound macho/tough voice which fails to sound either)

 

Omg how did I forget that wonderful line? Wasn't the game actually called 'Bad Dudes' though?

 

EDIT: Lol. It was called Bad Dudes vs. DragonNinja. Also from that game...

 

"Rampant ninja related crimes these days... Whitehouse is not the exception...". ROFL

[Hawq]

From the Contra 3 intro - "Let's attack aggressively." (theres another way to attack?)

Dragon Ninja - "The President has been kidnapped by ninjas. Are you a bad enough dude to rescue the president?"

also from Dragon Ninja - "I'm bad" (in an embarrasingly trying to sound macho/tough voice which fails to sound either)

 

Omg how did I forget that wonderful line? Wasn't the game actually called 'Bad Dudes' though?

 

EDIT: Lol. It was called Bad Dudes vs. DragonNinja. Also from that game...

 

"Rampant ninja related crimes these days... Whitehouse is not the exception...". ROFL

It depends on the region it seems, some places had it as simply Dragon Ninja others Bad Dudes vs. Dragon Ninja from some of the versions I've seen, think it had name issues in some conversions as well.

Back on topic:

Fatal Fury Special

Terry Bogard, challenger - "Ooooh. You make me so angry, ya big silly"

Terry Bogard, win - "Wubba, wubba. Im in the pink today, boy!"

Tung Fu Rue, challenger - "Your fists of evil are about to meet my steel wall of niceness"

Wolfgang Krauser, challenger - "Challenge me? ya hot spunky kid. I hate spunk"

Big Bear, challenger - "Oooh. You make me so flustered"

 

Maybe its just me but I'm thinking someone at the company was coming out in a covert way when that was made

[BlackKnight]

Ahh Fatal Fury... it was quite homosexually tinged wasn't it? Reminded me of these in any case;

 

Krauser - I'll sh.t on your gravestone. Sleep well.

 

That's my preferred reading at least. And to think I was going to have a thread about dodgy quotes without;

 

Terry - Are you OK? Buster Wolf!

[Agozer]

[Shibathedog]

yeah i was gonna mention bad dudes, classic

[OverlordMondo]

Narrator: In A.D. 2101, war was beginning.

Captain: What happen ?

Mechanic: Somebody set up us the bomb.

Operator: We get signal.

Captain: What !

Operator: Main screen turn on.

Captain: It's you !!

CATS: How are you gentlemen !!

CATS: All your base are belong to us.

CATS: You are on the way to destruction.

Captain: What you say !!

CATS: You have no chance to survive make your time.

CATS: Ha Ha Ha Ha ....

Operator: Captain !! *

Captain: Take off every 'Zig' !!

Captain: You know what you doing.

Captain: Move 'Zig'.

Captain: For great justice.

[Agozer]

Of course we mustn't forget the Genesis version of Zero Wing. The game itself is again, not much to with home about, but man, the developers really hit a homerun with the dialogue.