Favorite Jokes?

[SWAMP_THING]

Post your favorite jokes here,. this might be a good topic.

try not to make them too long as i have a very short attention span.

 

Two kids are sitting up stairs one is 7 one is 4. the 7 year old says, " its time we started swearing, when we go down for breakfast, say something bad."

 

so they go down for breakfast and mum says "what do you want?"

the 7 year old says "i want F****** co co pops mum"

 

and the mother says "dear God! get to your room!"

the 7 year old runs off crying

the mum turns to the 4 year old and says "what do u want?"

 

he says, "i don't know but i dont want F****** co co pops!"

[nicknicknickandnick]

I recall a joke from my cousin:

 

What did the little man say to the big man?

My, you're big.

 

My cousin's a weird guy.

[Alpha]

No offence to midgets or dwarfs in anyway....

 

What kind of car does a midget ride?

 

- MiniVan

[Mag]

What do you call a user with a cow name that is a moderator ?

 

Moo-derator

 

ehh ok.. im not good at telling jokes

[Gouken]

Kisha: "Damn it's hot in here shariffe, why don't you have an air conditioner?"

 

Shariffe: "Where the flock do you think you are, Sears? Go out and buy me an air conditioner!"

 

My friends are weird, go figure.

[someboddy]

10 russians get into a pub, and order 10 cups of beer. They drink it, and order another round, and so on. In the 10th round, they order only 9 cups. The barman ask them: "Why only 9? You are 10." so the russians anser him: "One of us have to drive"...

[loay]

10 russians get into a pub, and order 10 cups of beer. They drink it, and order another round, and so on. In the 10th round, they order only 9 cups. The barman ask them: "Why only 9? You are 10." so the russians anser him: "One of us have to drive"...

its good one

[loay]

two donky on race the first one win the race after that the 2nd donky say:

hay donky congratulations

first donky: dont call me donky i need more respect

[someboddy]

An american guy trained 7 years to be a spy at Russia. He mastered the language, perfectly copied the accent, learned the customs, and managed to drink 10 liters of alcohol at once. When he was ready, he moved to Russia.

The first thing he did at Russia, was to test his training. He got into the closest pub, and said to the barman at a perfect Russian accent: "Give me a cup of whisky." The barman refused: "I don't serve american spies!"

Our spy was shocked: I am not american spy, now give me a cup of whisky!". But the barman insist that he is american spy.

After half a hour, the spy gave up. "O.K., I am an american spy. I have only one question." he said, "How did you knew that I am american spy?"

The barman ansered: "We don't have black people here at Russia."...