Sometimes something happens, that you can't believe.

[MasterPhW]

Do you know the feeling, if you see some reports in the TV and think, that it never will happen to you?

Or see some family tragedies in some series, that you think, that can't happen ever to you?

Same happens to me, but just one week ago, such a tragedy happened to me.

My mother died with only 43 years.

She wasn't ill, she hadn't problems before and all seemed to go well, we talked till 1 am, like we used to, if we found time and only 5 hours later she was given over for dead.

I can't believe it. The last week was really hard for me.

My Dad couldn't believe what happened and is still paralyzed.

Does anyone know, what should I do? How to help my dad etc?

[Smilee]

Do you know the feeling, if you see some reports in the TV and think, that it never will happen to you?

Or see some family tragedies in some series, that you think, that can't happen ever to you?

Same happens to me, but just one week ago, such a tragedy happened to me.

My mother died with only 43 years.

She wasn't ill, she hadn't problems before and all seemed to go well, we talked till 1 am, like we used to, if we found time and only 5 hours later she was given over for dead.

I can't believe it. The last week was really hard for me.

My Dad couldn't believe what happened and is still paralyzed.

Does anyone know, what should I do? How to help my dad etc?

Talk to someone about it, holding it in won't do you any good. When my roommate died all of us that knew him just gathered around and cried. Don't do anything drastic such as drinking alcohol or something like that. Just keep it steady and take some time off.

[Robert]

That is really sad.

 

Same sort of thing happened to my dad when his wife (my stepmother) suddenly died. Take some time off and be with your dad, talk with him about anything, keep him busy so he doesn't fall into despair. If he wants to cry comfort him.

[Mooney]

When my mother's father died (my grandpa), she and her siblings stayed with her mother for a week to keep her surrounded by people who loved her to talk, to remember the good times with their father from their childhood, and to help ease everyone's pain. It also helped to have the house full of small children, who have the ability to brighten anyone's day with their youthful energy.

 

I'm very sorry for your loss.

[Sybarite Paladin AxL]

My condolences. I can't pretend to know how you feel, when my grandfather died I was only 5 so it didn't really register. However, you and your father have my best wishes and I can only hope this things will get better, to the extent that they can in this case. Like everyone else said, spend more time with your father. He needs to understand that even tho your mother's still gone, you both have each other and that's all that matters. Same goes to you I suppose. Hang tough dude.

[Jitway]

Man I feel for ya and know who you feel. Having lost and sister and daughter way too young in their prime. Try to talk to your Dad everyday as much as possible. Even if it is just to say how are you Dad or I love you. He will eventually come around. But the question I have for you is How Are You Doing In This? you yourself need to talk to someone about this and how you feel. Holding feeling inside can destroy you. I know from experience. Just find some family or friends that will listen to your pain that you are going through and let it out. Talking about it and expressing your feeling can relive must stress that you have to be going through right now.

 

And time does heal all pain. As time goes by it will get easier and easier to deal with. You never forget but you learn to live with it. Hang in there.

[MasterPhW]

First, thanks for all your nice comments and advices.

It's really great to see, that the internet still has some guys which has feelings and these guys also try to help in such a bad time.

The bad thing about is, that I had to go back to work this week (because I'm a soldier), nearly 500km away and only had "holidays" the last week.

But eastern I will be home, same applies to the week after, so I think that I'll find some time to hang around with my dad and try to help him as good as possible.

I can't say, it's easy for me to handle all that stuff, but I have to admit, that my experiences in the Red Cross and in the Army helped me a lot to handle all the feelings.

I had also a lot of my friends around me, last week, and my father was visited nearly every day by some friends of the family or some relatives, so I'm very happy that we have all that good mates.

My father is busy this week, too, because he got back to work. It's the best thing he could do IMO.

I'll try to hang out here and all my other places and try to work on my projects and do some sports to banish all my sad thoughts.

Edited March 18, 2008 by MasterPhW