Being there for someone

[Fatal Rose]

Ok well first of all, I am sorry for being so MIA lately. Please forgive me.

 

I have been maturing a lot spiritually, emotionally, and mentally lately. I was doing well until about three weeks ago I finally allowed myself to go out again. Mind you I have not really gone out and done anything in over a year, hardly ever drink anymore either. Well I went to the beach with my best bud, his girl, and her best friend. Well to make a long story short to much alcohol was consumed by me and I ended up sleeping with my friends GF friend. I now realize I just can't go out and put myself in situations that have the potential to lead to something I will regret to no end. I had no intention at all do be with any girl, seems like the night life is just not my thing anymore.

 

Lately I have been just trying to be there for people while still battling my own personal demons. For some reason every woman I make friends with think they have to pay me back by offering me a sexual favor or something, there is no need for that. Why can't women just be friends with me? It's awful. So much stuff is going on and I am probably not making much sense but I am hanging in there.

 

I might be getting a job soon working at a cemetery making good money. So God willing I will be blessed with this job. Once I finally have some money in my pocket and go visit LSD.

 

So whats going on everyone? I love the site updates. I will once again work diligently to get more people on board with this site. This is a great site and deserves more activity.

 

EDIT:

 

what happened that night in detail..

 

Ok after martial arts practice my friends girl picked us up, her best friend was with her in the back seat. Took a shower and got into the vehicle, I noticed her friend was attractive but I had no interest in her at all. They asked me if I wanted to go to the beach with them and I (regretfully) agreed. Everything was fine, the four of us were having a great conversation, a few beers were consumed in the process. Nothing happened though. We arrive at the beach, we find a place and continue to drink a few, still nothing happens. I am not interested in her and she is not into me at all. Her and my friends girl friend get up to go swim, my friend points out that she has a nice butt, usually that would spark some kind of interest but to be honest I did not care. Nothing really happened at the beach at all. All I did was sit there and talk and collect seashells. We then went and grabbed a bite to eat. Still nothing remotely close to flirting was going on, just normal conversations. We then agree to go to a bar after we finish eating. Before going to the bar we went to a liquor store and bought some malt liquor drink called 'Joose'(sp?), something like that (don't drink it, it will mess you up!). Well I finished mine on the way to the bar/pool hall and I felt it immediately when I got out of the car. She only finished about 25 percent of hers (it's a strong drink).

 

We enter the bar/pool hall, order a pitcher of Blue Moon and begin to play pool. We went through about ten in total, I probably had about 10 or 11 glasses of beer. I was totally plastered, more so then I have almost ever been. Remember that I have not really drank anything in over a year, so my alcohol resistance level had gone down immensely. In spite of all the drinking on mine and her end nothing happened between us at all, we just had a good time even though I could barely walk at that point. She was drunk but me and my friend were way beyond drunk. So it's time to go, I get into the back seat and she gets in next to me and lays her head down on my lap. So I remember thinking something like "I don't want to put my hand anywhere that would make her feel uncomfortable so I will put my hand on her shoulder. I had nowhere else to rest my arm/hand. She then takes my hand and puts it between her legs forcibly. I think I hesitated for a second then she shoved my hand back down there and put my hand in her panties. By that point I lost all inhibitions

and my flesh took over. Well you can imagine what I was doing with my hand to her and she started to moan, she was moaning so loud they had to turn the music up in the front. MY friend told me it was hilarious/awkward in-between songs because they would hear her so loudly.

 

Yes all this was happening while my friend and his girlfriend were in the front seat driving home (to my friends GF's house). She then undid my pants and started to go down on me (yes we were still in the car going home and yes my friend was basically watching and laughing the whole time all the while his girl friend was getting upset because her friend is in a relationship of 12 years). For about 30 minutes she continues do go down on me while I am still using my hand on her. We finally arrive at my friends GF house, we go inside and sit down for a second, that girl starts to lead me into a vacant room, my friend comes by and slips two condoms in my pocket. I barely manage to walk long enough to make it into the room with her. Well we get on the bed and start to go at it. She's acting like an animal, taking off my clothes and acting insanely horny. You'd swear she has not had sex in years (which ended up being true l0l). I can barely keep pace with her due to my alcohol induced mental retardation. I won't get into to much details for the sake of everyone reading this but I will say the condom my friend gave me was a piece of crap. I tried pulling it down but it would not fit, I tried forcing it down but it ended up ripping. She then tried to put the other one on for me and it did not fit either (I later found out that those condoms are his GF's and she has had them since they first met, he tried to use them when they first hooked up and they did not fit him either, they ripped on him too.). Thankfully I was so drunk I was unable to maintain a prolonged erection and I never 'finished'. We were up all night fooling around and I remember going into a hangover, not having any sleep.

 

When I finally started to realize what the heck was going on I felt like crap. All four of us were in the living room talking about last night, she went on about how she could not believe she did that and all that nonsense. I sat there listening to her go on and on, I really did not care. I was more upset with myself for allowing myself to get so wasted. Nothing really happened after that, she went home and the rest of us ate breakfast.

 

I feel horrible about the whole thing because my friends GF really liked me. She told my friend after I had met her the first time "I don't know why, but I really like your friend Ryan, he seems so nice! He does not seem like your other friends that just want to have fun and sleep with my friends, he was so nice to me and my son." After me making such a good impression on her I had to go and do this! Destroying my nice guy image. Now I am just like every other guy.

 

Now every knows what happened in detail.

[Robert]

It starts out just like THIS ONE does.

[Lucandrake]

Lol weirdy's name is ALBERT>

[Fatal Rose]

It starts out just like THIS ONE does.

 

You know I was trying to forget about that night.

[veristic]

Just stop associating with easy chicks. ;\

[Alpha]

It starts out just like THIS ONE does.

Well I guess I wasn't the only one experiencing Déjà vu.

 

Nevertheless, I hope to see Fatal post more about his personal experiences. I think all of us here always found it extremely intriguing to read. In fact, I'm a strong believer that what makes a forum great is when people talk and relate about their daily lives. Sure, I'm more reluctant than anyone to do so, but perhaps I shall share more info about myself if others do the same.

 

TBH, I'd rather read a thread about someone's exciting night out than about the latest gaming console being released. I think the amount of posts in The Lounge versus the other subforums speaks for itself. Although maybe that's a bad example since The Lounge covers everything, including gaming news.

[L.S.D]

Hang in there, Fatal. I know you can make it through!

 

And I am looking forward for you to be here! Anytime!

[Bambi]

Good to know your still out there Fatal!!

[Jitway]

Well I guess I wasn't the only one experiencing Déjà vu.

 

Nevertheless, I hope to see Fatal post more about his personal experiences. I think all of us here always found it extremely intriguing to read. In fact, I'm a strong believer that what makes a forum great is when people talk and relate about their daily lives. Sure, I'm more reluctant than anyone to do so, but perhaps I shall share more info about myself if others do the same.

 

TBH, I'd rather read a thread about someone's exciting night out than about the latest gaming console being released. I think the amount of posts in The Lounge versus the other subforums speaks for itself. Although maybe that's a bad example since The Lounge covers everything, including gaming news.

 

Ya tells more about the great GC why don't ya.

 

Anyway Ryan you just got to know how to say when when it comes to alcohol and women. Just hang in there and talk to women with your heart. They can sure tell when you are sincere and truly want to be their friend and not lover.

[Skythe]

Bitches be crazy, yo!

[Inky]

Bitches be crazy, yo!

quote for truth