Shaken up

[Hera]

I need some wisdom from others outside of the situation I'm in. I tend to let my temper and whatnot get the best of me. This is kind of long so bear with me.

 

Ok, so I have this girlfriend who has had A LOT of problems come her way. She has a son w/her fiance and they live with her brother and his girlfriend. The brother is bipolar schizophrenic and the girlfriend is just an instigator. She is an alcoholic, has three kids that she abandoned out of state and constantly causes drama. My friend's brother has acknowledged he has a problem when it comes to alcohol...I mean, he goes absolutely insane and stabs people when he's drunk. No lie. He was intent on quitting and actually stopped for a week. But the girlfriend wasn't having it.

 

A couple months ago, I had my friend attempt to stay the night but I had received a text message from her fiance saying that things were going down real bad and that he needed us to get there. He was alone w/their 2 yr old son. We rushed over there and when we went in the door, her fiance was having his head bashed in the floor repeatedly by her brother. She and I had successfully pulled him off of her fiance and I had held him down until cops could show up. Our other close friend showed up and took the child and got him out of there. Unfortunately, there is nowhere my friend and her little family can go. Our local Police Dept is an utter joke and always has been. They never took him to jail. Between our other friend and myself, we gave the wee one a little break from it all. He doesn't need to be in that environment. I pull the brakes when kids are involved. Anyway, things had cooled down, we all had a discussion and her brother seemed legitimately concerned for his nephew and wanted to change. We all hung out a few times and it seemed like he was making improvements. The girlfriend wasn't.

 

There were a few arguments here and there (given his disorder without taking medications) but nothing too serious. Until last night. My friend had called me in tears and I could hardly understand what she was saying. Apparently, her brother and his gf consumed way too much alcohol again and started fighting. He broke a lawn chair on his gf's face and grabbed a knife threatening to (please excuse the language) "cut her from her cunt to her spleen" and then go after her son. Some neighbors heard everything and called the cops. My friend had called for some help by our other friends and they were all there packing things up for her to get her out. The gf was telling the cops and the landlord that MY friend had started it all even though she was in bed. She shares the room with her son so she's usually in bed when he is. This was AFTER she was telling a friend of ours that if MY friend didn't stop her brother from continuously beating her with the chair, she could have died.

 

Anyway, today my husband and I pick her up to go to the house to make sure that none of her other things were destroyed. I was so pissed off and I was itching for a fight. Even being on crutches. Luckily for them and myself, they weren't home at the time. (Guess God was looking out for me.) When everything seemed normal, we stopped by her landlord's home and talked with them. I left extremely agitated because the landlord is going to give them "one more chance" before she evicts them. After all the noises, fighting, threats and belligerence that goes on in that house including the numerous times the police have been called, you would think some common sense would come into play. But I guess not.

 

So, they're all going to be living under the same roof until something else horrible happens. I'm so worried about her and that baby. Employment is awful around here and it's hard to make a living in this area so she doesn't have the resources to just dip out when needed.

 

I decided to send an email to the brother and girlfriend. Here is what I said:

 

I have no desire to cause anymore drama than there already is and I'm writing all of this with pure intentions. However, some of the things I'm going to say are not going to be sugarcoated. You both are on a self destructive path. You're hurting yourselves, each other and the people around you. This continuous delenquient behavior has to stop for not only your sakes but for that precious angel that's living in your home. You've said to me before you know you have a problem and I've heard many apologies time and time again but now it's time for some action. Stop making excuses for yourselves and grow up. I know you're not completely evil and I'm aware of the internal suffering you both have to carry each and everyday. But you can't let your past control your future. You have to take full control.

 

You're probably wanting to retaliate by saying it's none of my business. Well, frankly it is. When I'm called in the middle of the night because of something you two have done to endanger _____ and that baby, it becomes my business. Indeed I am beyond angry by what you both have done but there's no point in acting upon it. What's done is done. Don't confuse anger with resentment. I don't resent you.

 

I suggest you both get counseling and participate in AA meetings. If you have no way, I'LL TAKE YOU. So you have no legitimate excuse for not trying. I'll meet you half way and do what I can to get you through this because you need help. Regardless if you're an atheist, I will pray for you. But no matter how much one might help or pray, you're going to need to get the initiative to do something with your lives.

 

A few hours after I sent that message, I received a phone call from the gf telling me she hitched a ride and was on her way over here to "talk".

 

That was not her intent. But I was fooled. I actually thought she wanted help. Right when I opened the door (on crutches mind you with my 2yr old sitting in the livingroom), she pushed me and got in my face. She was saying some really outrageous things about my faith and how it was none of of my "fucking business" what she does with her life and who she does it with.

 

Of course I lost it. Screw the crutches. You don't do that in front of my kid. I yelled for my brother to call the cops and I shoved her out the door. She pulled a knife out and there were people yelling in the car she arrived to kick my "fat ass". With my bad leg, I kicked her off my porch and we were shouting at each other. Luckily, people at the Sheriff's dept know me and my mom (in a good way since the Sgt. went to high school w/my mom) and they showed up pretty quick. They saw her waving the knife about like a lunatic and the people in the car sped off. Another cop chased them down to the end of the road. She had some fingerprints on her neck from when I grabbed her by it to push/throw her out of my house and was telling them that I attacked her and fled to my house to avoid being arrested. They knew she was obviously lying and besides, why go to that person's house with a knife instead of calling the cops in the first place. Not to mention this girl has a criminal record and I don't.

 

Needless to say, she was taken off and they asked me if I wanted to press charges. I told them I would but I also feel a little weird about it. After all, I don't think I showed a good example by continuing to yell at her when I could have just shut the door and waited for the cops. Not sure if it was just my temperment or the fact that my daughter saw it all but I just couldn't control myself.

 

Should I continue to take this to court or should I let it go and just hope she never speaks to me again? After all, I will see her again since she lives with my friend. Also, I don't know what to do if she takes it out on her. I'm just a bit frazzled.

[Krosigrim]

Ummm... shit!

 

Pressing charges... That chick crossed the line. Pressing charges might not teach her any lessons other than you are not going to roll over, but from the sound of it, she might do stupid shit like slash your tires or worse to get back. If you dont, you might be showing her you wont do shit.

 

As for the situation as a whole... fucking hell. What the fuck is wrong with people... thats my official statement.

[Hera]

Pressing charges... That chick crossed the line. Pressing charges might not teach her any lessons other than you are not going to roll over, but from the sound of it, she might do stupid shit like slash your tires or worse to get back. If you dont, you might be showing her you wont do shit.

 

 

Yeah, I thought about that too but given that she has no license or car on top of the things I explicitly said I would do to her if she came back, I'm not sure she would attempt. So maybe if I DO continue with pressing the charges, she'll take me more seriously.

[veristic]

Press Charges and demand social services investigate her situation so she'll be threatened with losing her child. Maybe that'll wake her up. Maintain a restraining order on her for if she pulls anything she'll just get slammed again. I'd set up cameras too right now as a precaution in case she gets any ideas.

[Lucandrake]

If you press charges you'll come off as a hypocrite.

 

Everything else on the subject that I want to say is better served for a vocal conversation. After writing 3 paragraphs, I simply felt that there was too much direction with too little insight.

[Fatal Rose]

Press Charges and demand social services investigate her situation so she'll be threatened with losing her child. Maybe that'll wake her up. Maintain a restraining order on her for if she pulls anything she'll just get slammed again. I'd set up cameras too right now as a precaution in case she gets any ideas.

I agree.

[Cominus]

Edit: NVM I read it, you made me miss a good part of Mad Adventure damn it!!!!

 

 

It's like this, some people dont want your help, and your letter was a little biased, basicly you said that thier kids are your business, you're angry at them, they're some what evil, and that they need AA.

 

Not calling you a cunt, but if you want people to listen, you have to be a little nicer, crazy people dont like being talked down upon. Your letter should have been as followed:

 

Im writing this letter, because I care. You both are on a self destructive path, it's probably what you dont want to hear but it's the truth. I wanna help you guys, I think you should both should seek counseling and possibly AA, and if you have no method of transportation then I myself will take you.

 

When I'm called in the middle of the night because of something you two have done to endanger _____ and that baby it's saddens me, and I honestly dont think you want them to keep going through that, so for the kids will you accept my offer?

 

Sometimes a little prayer goes a long way.

[Inky]

I have a strict 'no drama' policy. so I would would just cut ties with the whole lot of them. but thats just me. there are plenty of other people in the world to be friends with.

[Skythe]

Pwahaha, rednecks.

[Robert]

You sure find the strangest people to hang out with.

 

I'd go with Inky's suggestion - dump the lot of them and start over.

[Shibathedog]

I had to read this in a hurry so sorry if I misunderstood but it sounds like what you should do is help your friend, her fiance, and their son get a place to live/jobs and get them out of there - although to be honest they should be able to do this on their own. The rest of them can get drunk and kill each other or be thrown out on the street by the landlord, fuck em. It won't be an overnight thing because like you said it is hard to find jobs now but at least they are taking a step in the right direction. If things are just going to continue to get worse you might let them stay at your place for a while or maybe they have a family member they can stay with just temporarily.

 

Actually who is the homeowner/primary leaseholder? If it is your friend they should just throw those drunks out. Let them come crawling back and then deny them again. If they keep coming back to their house/your house/a new house they end up in to start shit/waiving weapons around, tell them to buy a gun and shoot them in the neck, let em choke on it. These people sound like a waste of life.