The psychology of insulting someone?

[emsley]

i try now never to insult someone or make them feel bad or try and twist them up inside.

To say you are immune to a cutting remark is of course tosh wouldn't you agree?

The only time Ill dig someone is when they are getting too close for comfort or belittling you too much, but normally its too late so I learned the phrase "nipping it in the bud."

 

Normally when your enjoying your self someone wont be and they will try to tear into you with "sly" remarks that go in one ear and rattle around the head.

 

Some people dont like you plain and simple , I think some of this roots from social standing say for instance entering a group for the first time of new people, you dont know who they are if you will be accepted or if there are all "jerks" who wont let anyone in. So you might begin to feel inadequate or ignored resulting in self esteem been lowered and then we go on the attack to establish or self's in the hierarchy, making the group or person dislike you more.

 

This is where social skills come into play and you weave your way in to the group, if the group or people are even worth your time.

Normally people I hang with are already down to earth and ribbing and insults are just the norm, Im just wondering why some people even young kids take the time out to spot something "sensitive" about you and even though you have decided to ex communicate them they still continue to apply the Chinese water torture.

In the last year alone A guy had a go at me And i didn't even know him at this party and started acting like a prick, I decided to leave and he went to attack me and I levelled him in front of everyone.

 

You guys know what Im talking about here?

[veristic]

Yeah, its just human nature that some people get off on abusing others. They derive a sense of thrill from it. Whether its psychological or physical, even parents are guilty of it at times. I know i've been guilty of abusing the family dog a little too much in my younger, adolescent days. I cried a lot last year (the first time since I was like 14, 26 now) when I found him passed from old age one night, I felt ashamed and couldn't get over why I was mean to him. I said "i'm sorry" to him repeatedly as I was sobbing, holding his body on the floor. He never really liked me because of it, not like my sister and mother. But its funny how in his old age he became incontinent and the only person in the family who could properly diaper him was me. Irony I guess.

 

Anyway, back on point, yeah some people just enjoy being mean. I think all people have it in them to some degree, while others exercise it consciously and there are those who see it as an unjust and unethical display of one own character. I'm one of the latter. Maybe thats why I tend to prefer being alone, because we recognize that people can be cruel. I'd rather just not deal with that crap to begin with you know what i'm saying? I'm too old for that shit. Its what separates, or should at any rate, mature adults from degenerate, ignorant, daft assholes.

 

Those who truly are obsessed with it are your murderers, rapists, domestic abusers and the like. How many steps away are some people from crossing the line? Not to call you out or anything Ems but I recall a post you made about watching your ex and her gay friend walk by from your balcony and you said "fuck it" to your higher judgment and yelled at them, etc. But I can't say I knew her or what happened between you two so, I don't past judgment.

 

Its kind of scary to see one's self sometimes when the situation creates the atmosphere exact enough where the worst in us can surface. I just don't want to be that person, I don't do it to others and 99% of the time they don't do it to me.

[Lucandrake]

I think it has more to do with acknowledgement than anything else. When an insult is thrown at one person the person with the wittier tongue climbs the steps in the "social ladder". In that essence they're getting to be "known" amongst their peers. It can be brought about from fear as well, without that climb a lot of people will feel left out (giving more reason to survival of the fittest). Maybe it's just a mechanism for coping with the group that some people bring about (those doing it without their conscious being effected). Greed can also be the reason behind it, going back to the example of you having a good time then only to have someone else shit all over it, they see you having fun, and so they themselves want it as well. A lot of the time the only conclusion they come up with (whether it be consciously or not) is that by destroying your enjoyment they gain theirs.

[emsley]

Yeah its tricky for sure, no one likes been disrespected or treat like something they know they are not.

I did have my reasons for yelling at my ex (100 hours in police cells, 170 hours community hours, a baby that wasnt mine, and my house burgled and been on bail for 3 months away from my family) as far as Im concerned with that I think she got it easy. Still im sure she gets off on me "losing" my temper still when i see her, im sure some-place in her head she knows when i lose my temper she is winning in whatever fucked up reality she has going on inside her head.

 

I mean an insult or enough of them can cause you to want to hit that person - no one is immune to snapping - No one.

In life your gonna meet people who you just Dont get on with, or fall out with over time, sometimes you never say anything , look at them or do anything to attract insults/intimidation.

 

Been out in the sticks knowing I have to return to a city has given me some good thinking time about what I want and what I need to get the kind of life I was to live.

In all honesty I dont want to go back to the city and my flat, the life i want is a steady one where i come and go as i please.

Out here there is no confrontation just relaxed nice people.

 

 

I dunno its like you get a guy who was accused of rape or something but he never did it and was found not guilty, then some guy thinks "ah!" and calls him a rapist and a liar - the guy he said it to knows he never did that, and might just decide to punch him as a warning to others to questions his integrity as a decent person.

[emsley]

I think it has more to do with acknowledgement than anything else. When an insult is thrown at one person the person with the wittier tongue climbs the steps in the "social ladder". In that essence they're getting to be "known" amongst their peers. It can be brought about from fear as well, without that climb a lot of people will feel left out (giving more reason to survival of the fittest). Maybe it's just a mechanism for coping with the group that some people bring about (those doing it without their conscious being effected). Greed can also be the reason behind it, going back to the example of you having a good time then only to have someone else shit all over it, they see you having fun, and so they themselves want it as well. A lot of the time the only conclusion they come up with (whether it be consciously or not) is that by destroying your enjoyment they gain theirs.

 

Yes evolutionary psychology, the laws of the land stop violence and now it is done like this.

[Devia Eleven]

I've spent years trying to analyze this.

 

Because of insults, humans are the cause of most psychological frustration. I don't insult people, because I generally find no reason to. I find the "act" of insulting another person a waste of time, and it's disrespectful, plain and simple. I get verbally picked on every single day, and it doesn't bother me as much as it use to. What bothered me the most was that I moved to three different states, met knew people, didn't talk much, and people still found a way to verbally belittle me. It's wordwide, it doesn't matter the person, it happens everywhere. No matter if you undisclose everything you like, if you remain silent, it still doesn't work.

 

It has something to do with human insecurity, modern day crisis forming itself into every human being on Earth. Instead of dealing with problems, a more important notion for a person would be to pick on someone else to make themselves feel better. It's a sad concept, I just can't find any joy in making fun of anyone else. This might sound odd, but I lack the need to, in my opinion, instead of insulting another person, I just know for a fact that all of us have flaws, whether we display them or not. I'd rather seek out my flaws, and kill them, instead of put them to the side and make another feel devastated because of my own problems.

 

I think if everyone was nice to everyone else, people would commit suicide out of boredom, I feel that, insulting people, is completely unnecessary.

[emsley]

As wrong as it sounds just nutting the fuckers works wonderfully well.

[Devia Eleven]

Not sure why, but once I do it, I feel like a piece of shit afterwards.

[Skythe]

It's easy.

 

Well, it's way too easy here in Georgia. Since we're at the bottom of the list when it comes to education (the main reason here being that the school board is forcing teachers to pass everyone no matter what), just say "one of them big and fancy words, yeehaw!" and you confuse them while walking away smiling.

 

I once scared a stripper by telling her after getting a dance that I have Epidermis. It's contagious and she needed to get checked out. I finally told her it means skin. Awesome.

[Shoma]

Hmmm, I became infamous in school because of insults.

It was something that I did when someone pissed me off, but I used to do it when i was happy, bored of just wanted to show off that not even the "jocks" can out-crack me.

AFter that, i grew up, felt really sorry for the girl i made cry....

For that little "on the fence" boy who cried...

Its too much to be said behind the mental implications of it all(and becuz im lazy right now) but the more insult, the more insecurity it shows of that person... I assure you(psycho BS aside).

 

Oh and Skythe, if you feel that way then you should move to a different area, not sure of the details, but if you feel like you're a friggin genius by just mere social standards then you may want to find a more challenging group to be around(or state, dont know anything about Georgia).

 

"If my whole city deemed me a genius, then I would, without haste, run for the furthest city, in fear of my life."

[emsley]

Yeah psychology is only their to give us understanding and doesn't really cut it in the real world.

Some moron comes up to you blabbling his mouth what are you gonna do "Please take a seat was your father a mean drunk?"

 

Bullshit!

Saying shit and talking shit is serious business some days you might be able to ignore it sometimes not or sometimes you might be in a situation where you have no choice.

3 weeks back I busted a kid round the back of his head he was 14 - kicked my beer over, then he kicked it over again after I warned him not to do that. A little earlier he was mouthing off at my neighbour who is a little old now and no longer what you would call a fighter, he is thin and and wouldn't take much to knock him off his feet and this 14 year old turd was trying to intimidate my friend, id warned that turd about 5 times previous.

 

Since his rap round the head he thinks 3 times before saying or doing anything now.

I just think its sad that you have to belt someone before they go "oh i really shouldn't say such things"