How to not have eye boogers and bad breath the morning after sex?!

[Alpha]

I have been trying to figure out the best way to do this for years.

 

Like most of you guys, I'm a heavy sleeper. And when I wake up, I got to wash my face and brush my teeth. Why do I do this? Otherwise, you will see my morning eye boogers and smell my horrific breathe.

 

Now, the question is -- how do you avoid the lady from ever noticing this while you're sleeping the morning after sex? My method is currently to set an alarm midway through my sleep to wash my mouth and face, so it's simply -- half bad. But is there really any way to keep my breath at least smelling good? Do you guys have any techniques or ideas to share?

 

Help me out you sexy beasts!!!

[Devia Eleven]

Brushing your teeth before going to sleep won't prevent morning breath, but will make it less lethal, to tolerable when you wake up.

[Alpha]

There's got to be something better than toothpaste to keep your breathe smelling good from the time you sleep to the time you instantly wake up. Hell, Colgate Total was one toothpaste that was supposed to do the trick, but that shit did not work.

[Skythe]

If she wakes up and complains, punch her out then tell her when she finally wakes up again it was all a bad dream. And that the black eye was due to the headboard. If you don't have a headboard then tell her you did but her face destroyed it so you had to throw it away.

[solidius23]

my wife doesnt and wont kiss in the morning cuz of morning breath i told her my dick doesnt mind bad breath.

[Alpha]

If she wakes up and complains, punch her out then tell her when she finally wakes up again it was all a bad dream. And that the black eye was due to the headboard. If you don't have a headboard then tell her you did but her face destroyed it so you had to throw it away.

You definitely know how to make things sound totally fucked up!

[Skythe]

You definitely know how to make things sound totally fucked up!

 

 

I prefer the term waffleized.