How do you deal with assholes?

[Alpha]

Humans intrinsically want to be liked by their peers. Of course, humans don't always get liked, and sometimes it is based on circumstantial evidence, and other times it's based on a 5-minute glimpse. What pisses me off is the 5-minute glimpse which is almost always baseless.

 

Examples:

 

The hot girl / cashier at the grocery store. You've been in her check-out line over 15 times. But every time you talk to her, she's an asshole to you, but nice to the other people in front of you. You keep asking yourself why this person dislikes you so much, yet you never will know the answer.

 

The boss at your 9-5 job. You ask him how he's doing when you get there and all he does is nudge his head. Doesn't look at you, doesn't say a word... but when other people come up to him... he's warmer and receptive.

 

What do these two people have in common? Neither of them really have gotten to know you under any personal level, and if they have, it's only a 5-minute glimpse.

 

I've become an extremely positive person in the last year or two. Being positive is not just telling yourself "I'm going to be positive today", but it's a struggle, and it's constant work against the negative energy around you, while having an appreciation for the choices each and every one of us have. But how do I deal with assholes? I'm nice to them. Always kind. But sometimes I ask myself -- do they deserve my common courtesy? Do they deserve my smile when I'm really pushing myself? If I am nice to them for a long time... will they one day see that I'm a cool guy and change their ways? (I still appreciate their assholeness because I learn to later screen out for it and abstain from it.)

 

So, it's a complex question that I haven't yet answered, which is why I've brought it here. How do you deal with assholes?

[Hard Core Rikki]

Stay awesome.

And if they enjoy solitude and frustration, respect their wishes. Their loss, not yours. Some use this to keep people at bay and not open up more than necessary, an attitude time can fix as worries and edginess are replaced with safety.

[Cominus]

Truth is, well part truth is that either they're secretly gay and they just don't find you attractive therefore really don't wanna hav anything to do with you (guys) and girls too depending on their level of shallowness and others idk, they don't trust overly nice people I'm assuming.

 

Sometimes you gotta be a dick to make friends I guess, they revert to their HS days and don't want to get made fun of so they try to suck up...it's weird.

[L.S.D]

because of your chrome dome

[Alpha]

because of your chrome dome

 

What's a "chrome dome"?

[ken_cinder]

Umm hello...the girl who is mean to you/an asshole, actually is quite interested in you 9/10 times, especially if she's otherwise fairly nice...chances are she's trying to get your attention and even she doesn't know it.

Did you never get picked on by a girl in your teens/pre-teens? Known fact that the girls who do, likely have a crush on you. I actually had a girl in high school try to pick a fight with me, and then plant one on me while trying to cop a feel...dirty girl, sheesh.

 

As for your boss...could be they don't like you, or it could be you're good at your job and they know they don't have to hold your hand or stroke your ego for you.

 

Just like what you're assuming, the same assumptions could be made on the other end...

[emsley]

Fucking hell what a scattered thread.

 

The biggest assholes I have ever bumped into in my life were when I was working at a building firm learning to plaster.

I got stuck with this old school guy who was just plain awful to me but I was stuck with his bullshit because the positives outweighed me leaving the job.

So after two weeks of his bullshit he couldnt grind me down and I got put with another guy, in the space of two weeks of real training I was plastering full walls and taking on small ceilings. THEN the boss back at the depot just didnt like me, I did what I was told, was never mouthy or a cunt. Just got on with my work. Got left on a job by my self that was too much for me, I didnt do a good job. After that it was a matter of time before they pushed me out. I must of done 100 jobs spot on, but my two jobs i screwed up were thrown in my face. THAT is the true definition of humans being unhelpful and working against you. I got a letter telling me I was gone in a week, My pal at the time said to appeal it, I asked him to drop me off up the road, I got out of the van and never went back. Fuck them.

 

Cunts.

 

There was nothing I could do, now I plan to work for my self but im out of practice, no boss, no strict time keeping, I can just do what I want when I want the only thing i have to worry about is keeping the customer happy. Im broke but I'm trying.

 

People who have more power than you especially in a working environment tend to let the asshole shine right on through.

I walked out on a few jobs over the years, I remember at this warehouse job I had that I applied my handbrake when not moving, the gaffer noticed this and laughed "You use the handbrake...." They are just fucking cunts, soon shut him up fucking harassing me, he blabbed that much at me I started to lose focus on the job, This is how they do it if they take you on the realise you are not fitting their fantasy work force. What are you gonna do yell at him to fuck off and get off your back? = Fired. Go higher up and report him? Punch him? = arrested. he wont ever leave you alone. I turn up and do my job. Even thats too much for some. Dont get me wrong I have had GREAT managers over the years... I just cant see me working for anyone now unless its for my self or by some miracle I get taken on by a great bunch of guys. Which i cant see happening.

 

Im workshy now with anything to do with constant employment, shitty jobs usually = shitty people, i dont have the patience anymore.

Give me a house to clear, and some building work with some good guys and im sorted.

Edited July 26, 2013 by emsley

[L.S.D]

 

because of your chrome dome

 

What's a "chrome dome"?

i recall you are bald

[Cominus]

The biggest assholes I have ever bumped into in my life were when I was working at a building firm learning to plaster.

I got stuck with this old school guy who was just plain awful to me but I was stuck with his bullshit because the positives outweighed me leaving the job.

So after two weeks of his bullshit he couldnt grind me down and I got put with another guy, in the space of two weeks of real training I was plastering full walls and taking on small ceilings. THEN the boss back at the depot just didnt like me, I did what I was told, was never mouthy or a cunt. Just got on with my work. Got left on a job by my self that was too much for me, I didnt do a good job. After that it was a matter of time before they pushed me out. I must of done 100 jobs spot on, but my two jobs i screwed up were thrown in my face. THAT is the true definition of humans being unhelpful and working against you. I got a letter telling me I was gone in a week, My pal at the time said to appeal it, I asked him to drop me off up the road, I got out of the van and never went back. Fuck them.

 

I had an old boss guy that would always be nagging in my ear, that was god awful annoying but it did push me to do a better job.

[Alpha]

Truth is, well part truth is that either they're secretly gay and they just don't find you attractive therefore really don't wanna hav anything to do with you (guys) and girls too depending on their level of shallowness and others idk, they don't trust overly nice people I'm assuming.

 

Sometimes you gotta be a dick to make friends I guess, they revert to their HS days and don't want to get made fun of so they try to suck up...it's weird.

 

Wow, this actually happened to me last year. I asked this beautiful woman out on a date after meeting her at a coffee shop. We talked for about 20 minutes straight and I got her number to hang out again. Texted her a few times, but she would respond days later, with no apology, nothing. It was getting so frustrating because I couldn't establish anything. Eventually, I saw her a few days later at the same coffee shop. She was sitting with a girl that looked like a Tomboy. Sure enough when I approached her and started talking, she introduced me to her girlfriend. Most guys would have been pissed, but I was quite pleased to know it really wasn't "me", but it was her (not that there is anything wrong with that).

 

 

Umm hello...the girl who is mean to you/an asshole, actually is quite interested in you 9/10 times, especially if she's otherwise fairly nice...chances are she's trying to get your attention and even she doesn't know it.

Did you never get picked on by a girl in your teens/pre-teens? Known fact that the girls who do, likely have a crush on you. I actually had a girl in high school try to pick a fight with me, and then plant one on me while trying to cop a feel...dirty girl, sheesh.

 

As for your boss...could be they don't like you, or it could be you're good at your job and they know they don't have to hold your hand or stroke your ego for you.

 

Just like what you're assuming, the same assumptions could be made on the other end...

 

Now that you mention it, I do recall a few instances, and you may be absolutely correct (it's not the first time I've heard of this). It's just hard for me to believe that adults who tend to have more empathy (not children) would continue the same games, especially when it can cause the other person to feel quite shitacular.

[Alpha]

Fucking hell what a scattered thread.

 

The biggest assholes I have ever bumped into in my life were when I was working at a building firm learning to plaster.

I got stuck with this old school guy who was just plain awful to me but I was stuck with his bullshit because the positives outweighed me leaving the job.

So after two weeks of his bullshit he couldnt grind me down and I got put with another guy, in the space of two weeks of real training I was plastering full walls and taking on small ceilings. THEN the boss back at the depot just didnt like me, I did what I was told, was never mouthy or a cunt. Just got on with my work. Got left on a job by my self that was too much for me, I didnt do a good job. After that it was a matter of time before they pushed me out. I must of done 100 jobs spot on, but my two jobs i screwed up were thrown in my face. THAT is the true definition of humans being unhelpful and working against you. I got a letter telling me I was gone in a week, My pal at the time said to appeal it, I asked him to drop me off up the road, I got out of the van and never went back. Fuck them.

 

Cunts.

 

There was nothing I could do, now I plan to work for my self but im out of practice, no boss, no strict time keeping, I can just do what I want when I want the only thing i have to worry about is keeping the customer happy. Im broke but I'm trying.

 

People who have more power than you especially in a working environment tend to let the asshole shine right on through.

I walked out on a few jobs over the years, I remember at this warehouse job I had that I applied my handbrake when not moving, the gaffer noticed this and laughed "You use the handbrake...." They are just fucking cunts, soon shut him up fucking harassing me, he blabbed that much at me I started to lose focus on the job, This is how they do it if they take you on the realise you are not fitting their fantasy work force. What are you gonna do yell at him to fuck off and get off your back? = Fired. Go higher up and report him? Punch him? = arrested. he wont ever leave you alone. I turn up and do my job. Even thats too much for some. Dont get me wrong I have had GREAT managers over the years... I just cant see me working for anyone now unless its for my self or by some miracle I get taken on by a great bunch of guys. Which i cant see happening.

 

Im workshy now with anything to do with constant employment, shitty jobs usually = shitty people, i dont have the patience anymore.

Give me a house to clear, and some building work with some good guys and im sorted.

 

Just read this. Gotta say... you always post quite the stories, Emsley, and we love ya for it!

 

Sorry to read about all the work trouble. It's true. Some people who are put in positions of power turn into assholes. I'm not surprised that the older gentleman was an asshole to work with. He probably was threatened by your youth and wanted you to face the tough times he probably endured when he started at the company. It's a common veteran maneuver to break down the rookies. Unfortunately, it's most likely going to be part of much of the workforce bullshit. You either suck up and play the game or start your own business. And honestly, it seems to me you've got the experience. I'd recommend starting your own plastering company. What do you think?