Ever date a co-worker?

[Alpha]

So there's this cute blonde at my work place that I've been wanting to date for a while, but have no idea how to pop the question. I'm aware she's single and that she's dating guys, but that's about it. I know this sounds odd, but I am a bit hesitant to ask. What if it ends badly? What if it ends well? What if she refuses to be intimate, but only wants to be friends... then what? Awkwardness now at the workplace?

 

I'm not even sure how to start it. What do I say to entice her to meet up outside of work? Coffee, Beer, Lunch?

 

Any of you guys have experience with this?

[Phased]

Alpha,

 

I'm going to tell you the pro's and cons of this. One it really depends on what you do for a living. If you work in retail it will be rather easy to get her to go out. Just say hey lets go to lunch today. If your in an office setting I suggest forgetting the idea completely unless your in different departments. Its not entirely about what to ask her out for as long as you have confidence in yourself to do so.

 

That aside if it ends badly in a retail job, its just a retail job and if it gets bad enough either one of you can find a new job. If its a office type job then chances are your company will frown upon inner office relationships. It could result in the both of you terminated. Work relationships usually bring a lot of drama because; 1. if someone comes down on her you will always side with her even if shes in the wrong and vice versa. 2. if you or her are in any type of leadership role then chances are people will talk a lot of crap which will result in turbulence.

 

If the company you work for has no rules on the matter go for it, but beware there's always a downside to work relations. For one you and her wont have much to talk about once you get to be more intimate. You also need to figure out exactly what you want out of this. Is it just for sex or is it for a potential relationship.

 

That aside.. I've had a couple relationships with co workers. It also depends on who you are. I'm not a jealous person so if I saw them talking to someone and flirting I didn't really care. It was a retail job though so it wasn't very serious for me. The relationship itself was fun and we made things work, were still even friends today although we just stopped out of no where really.

 

I suggest if you do manage a relationship with her set up a work rule that you don't tell anyone. She can easily say shes got a boyfriend with out saying who. You can do the same. It will allow you to keep your relationship out of work. But its a heavy burden.

 

Just my two cents.

[veristic]

Well, I'll say this. Personally, I consider myself a monogamist, and not of the serial variety. As an artist, I view women as the source of beauty in life, and there is no shortage of beautiful women in this world.

 

What, then, does a man do in a world filled with beauty? I ask myself the following:

 

Does this particular woman stir an urge inside you where you have to take the chance to know, for yourself, what if ... for if not taking that chance you would be left with regret, or, could you live with letting the opportunity pass you by?

 

To date, I have met 3 women who stirred me that way; 1) The first I met a while ago in Community College and turned out to be lesbian, which is a shame since she was everything I wanted in a "type;" 2) My current girlfriend — who is also my type — likely the one for me based on recent events over the last 1½ year; 3) and lastly, someone very special to me in all the right and wrong ways, who left an ache in my heart that will stay with me, probably, for the rest of my life.

 

Despite the last person, however, I took the chance to see "what if" and although it pained me to go through what happened following that (and it still hurts) ... I don't regret my actions. Not knowing can drive you mad.

 

Anyway, from what it sounds like, you've been interested in her for a while, and it might not just be a passing interest, or it might. It's up to you to know if she is worth it. Take it from me, I am an introvert and approaching women isn't something I can do casually so I understand the hesitation. If you do think she's worth it, good luck my man! Who knows what could happen~

Edited April 4, 2014 by veristic

[Fatal Rose]

I have a few times.

[Silverblade84]

Yes and now we've been married for 9 years.