L.S.D Posted July 22, 2004 Share Posted July 22, 2004 Things Found Only in America 1. Only in America......can a pizza get to your housefaster than an ambulance. 2. Only in America......are there handicap parkingplaces in front of a skating rink. 3. Only in America......do drugstores make the sickwalk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front. 4. Only in America......do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a diet Coke. 5. Only in America......do banks leave both doors tothe vault open and then chain the pens to thecounters. 6. Only in America......do we leave cars worththousands of dollars in the driveway and put ouruseless junk in the garage. 7. Only in America......do we use answering machinesto screen calls and then have call waiting so we won'tmiss a call from someone we didn't want to talk to inthe first place. 8. Only in America......do we buy hot dogs in packagesof ten and buns in packages of eight. 9. Only in America......do we use the word 'politics'to describe the process so well: Poli' in Latinmeaning 'many' and 'tics' meaning 'bloodsuckingcreatures'. 10. Only in America......do they have drive-up ATMmachines with Braille lettering. A Guide to U.S. Newspapers 1. The Wall Street Journal is read by the people whorun the country. 2. The New York Times is read by people who think theyrun the country. 3. The Washington Post is read by people who thinkthey should run the country. 4. USA Today is read by people who think they ought torun the country but don't really understand theWashington Post. They do, however like the smogstatistics shown in pie charts. 5. The Los Angeles Times is read by people whowouldn't mind running the country, if they could sparethe time, and if they didn't have to leave L.A. to doit. 6. The Boston Globe is read by people whose parentsused to run the country. 7. The New York Daily News is read by people whoaren't too sure who's running the country, and don'treally care as long as they can get a seat on thetrain. 8. The New York Post is read by people who don't carewho's running the country either, as long as they dosomething really scandalous, preferably whileintoxicated. 9. The San Francisco Chronicle is read by people whoaren't sure there is a country, or that anyone isrunning it; but whoever it is, they oppose all thatthey stand for. There are occasional exceptions if theleaders are handicapped minority, feministic atheistdwarfs, who also happen to be illegal aliens from ANYcountry or galaxy as long as they are democrats. 10. The Miami Herald is read by people who are runninganother country, but need the baseball scores. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wizard Posted July 22, 2004 Share Posted July 22, 2004 I believe most of thsoe are true. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gryph Posted July 22, 2004 Share Posted July 22, 2004 I believe most of thsoe are true.You are Canadian, you have no right to presume what we in the US do. But yeah, those are true. Especially those newspaper ones. I read The Wall Street Journal from time to time, I RULE THE COUNTRY! w00t!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ghosty Posted July 22, 2004 Share Posted July 22, 2004 *Hystaricly*It's TRUE! ALL TRUE! And Inflamible Means Flamable. It's True. And They Won't Sell Lighters To Kids At A Water/Video Store But Will Sell Them At Gas Stations(I've Tried It) Our Contry Is Somewhat Crappy But Sure Is Better Than CANADA! (J/K K'Dash) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chaotica Posted July 22, 2004 Share Posted July 22, 2004 4. Only in America......do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a diet Coke. That's a classic Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
L.S.D Posted July 22, 2004 Author Share Posted July 22, 2004 And They Won't Sell Lighters To Kids At A Water/Video Store But Will Sell Them At Gas Stations(I've Tried It)LOL, maybe they like to see their gas station going up in smoke! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Smilee Posted July 22, 2004 Share Posted July 22, 2004 And They Won't Sell Lighters To Kids At A Water/Video Store But Will Sell Them At Gas Stations(I've Tried It)LOL, maybe they like to see their gas station going up in smoke! What I don't get is why they sell cigaretes in the gas stations. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
L.S.D Posted July 22, 2004 Author Share Posted July 22, 2004 And They Won't Sell Lighters To Kids At A Water/Video Store But Will Sell Them At Gas Stations(I've Tried It)LOL, maybe they like to see their gas station going up in smoke! What I don't get is why they sell cigaretes in the gas stations. Maybe they like to see fireworks? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Agozer Posted July 22, 2004 Share Posted July 22, 2004 (edited) I don't want to sound like a retard and I've been meaning to ask this for a long time...What is "Braille lettering"? EDIT: Nevermind, I think I know. It's that dot text that blind people can read, right? Edited July 22, 2004 by Agozer Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Diso Posted July 22, 2004 Share Posted July 22, 2004 Lmao We are so Careless that even Canada and other countries know our darkest secrets Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
random guy Posted July 22, 2004 Share Posted July 22, 2004 I don't want to sound like a retard and I've been meaning to ask this for a long time...What is "Braille lettering"? EDIT: Nevermind, I think I know. It's that dot text that blind people can read, right?Exactly Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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